ENTER Brené Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection. This is serious stuff, you guys. Serious, imperfect, mind opening, brain boggling, life enhancing stuff.
I, like many many others, make a grand great effort to be perfect.
perfectionism: "the belief that if everything is perfect we can minimize shame, blame, and judgment"
Immaberealwitchu. That stuck right to me. It's like, sometimes I just want to use perfectly baked cookies, perfectly knitted hats, obtaining "the best job", having good hair days, being the funniest, as band-aids instead of actually doing the hard, long work that a life of self-love requires. It's that pooper of a voice that tells me, "once you can afford to buy all the clothes from Anthropologie, everyone will think you're incredible".
How do we overcome it? It's hard, yo. But Lady Brené really insists on nurturing authenticity over perfectionism like...erry day.
cultivating the courage to be imperfect and vulnerable
exercising compassion that comes from knowing we are all made of strength and struggle
nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe we are enough
authenticity is bravery.
Here's what's real about that. Can I control someone's perception of me? Naw. Can I control it if I have all the clothes from Anthropologie? Nope. So why bother being anyone else but me? We're all bound to feel less shame, disappointment, and blame if we enter situations with the intent of being authentic rather than being "liked". Pretty rad, I know. Pretty hard, I know. It seems a lot of us are afraid that if we really showed our true colors, we wouldn't measure up to other people's expectations. BUT WAIT because how do we even know that?!
Queen B.B. mentions how much harder it is to work on your own self-love. That loving and accepting the imperfections of others is way easier that accepting your own imperfections. The truth of all the truest truths is that there's absolutely no way we can begin to full embrace the imperfections of others unless we begin to love our own. That we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.
How will I kickstart my journey towards authenticity?
I want to compare less, analyze less, give myself daily affirmations about myself, accept and believe meaningful compliments, work hard, learn lots, read instead of looking at other people's pictures, allow myself to not worry about next fall, the summer, tomorrow, tonight.
Want to play alloooooong with me?
To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody but yourself means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight- and never stop fighting.